Renegade

What may not be understood, is that we live a life of advocating for ourselves. Any support we have is because we, as individuals, spent at least double or triple the amount of time of the support, advocating - 300% times the force to get the need.

And the advocating doesn't stop there. Every single interaction involves an explanation.

You were gonna leave me behind, didn’t even blink an eye.

I had to kick, scream, and cry to get you to see me.  

It’s a full time job on top of a full time job; navigating the healthcare system, advocating for myself, navigating the disability services system.

If I don’t speak up, no one knows. If I don’t, you’ll continue on without me. It doesn’t impact you, you could care less. I’m the one who has to fight to be in this social space.

Negotiate, back to back appointments, updating forms, paperwork, accommodations, making sure all departments are in communication with one another. The job never ends,

This is more real for me than for anyone else, because I know; I have lived the repercussions of not joining. I must advocate just so that I can participate, just so that I can join. This is my experience, every day, along with managing my disability which is embodied - in my body. There is no 9am-5pm, go home, turn it off. This is my life. 

I’m exhausted.